Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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