I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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