i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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