Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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