I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
