Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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