I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
