the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
