I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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