You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
