laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
