nut hugger
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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