5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
