He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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