I just cut my nipple shaving
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize