Yo dont text me then not text me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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