This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he was CRYING into my vagina
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
