it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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