don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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