apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It's just like the Real World with babies
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
