Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize