then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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