Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
