Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
