Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
