Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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