I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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