hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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