He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
