goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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