Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
