How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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