Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
