Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
