I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just high enough for therapy.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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