I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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