They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
