My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Princesses don't give blow jobs
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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