Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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