I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
this will be a night to untag.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
