You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
