In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize