I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
