oh god the rape fog is back!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
