So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You smell like stripper and shame
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
