It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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