I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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