She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize