Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
