We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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