Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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