This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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