Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my vag is so smooth its legendary
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
