I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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