yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I met the friendliest cop last night
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize