I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
