Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
