I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
