I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize