96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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