we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
