were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize