Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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