cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My Higher Power is John Stamos
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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