Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
