"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
